


Not What She Chose

by inkedintoincognito



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Not what he seems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-12
Updated: 2015-03-12
Packaged: 2018-03-17 11:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3528272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkedintoincognito/pseuds/inkedintoincognito
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I needed her to listen. It was deep in my gut, deep in my mind, a rock in my throat- a need for her to shut down the machine, a need for her to listen to me, really listen, to help me, just this once, to join me and trust me and follow logic and see what was written out before us, plain as day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not What She Chose

She wasn’t _listening._

I _needed_ her to listen. It was deep in my gut, deep in my mind, a rock in my throat- a need for her to shut down the machine, a need for her to listen to me, really listen, to help me, just this once, to join me and trust me and follow logic and see what was written out before us, plain as day.

The man who lied to us was trapped against the wall

_why didn’t I press the button when I had the chance?!_

and she was the only one close enough to stop this.

She just needed to listen to me.

_So stupid. So stupid. You left this up to her._

It was true. If I wasn’t distracted by him, by the liar, the deceiver, then it would all be over. But I let emotions get the best of me. I didn’t push, I walked away, I yelled and questioned and left the button behind because my heart overpowered my mind

_idiot, idiot, idiot_

and now she would have to make the decision, I knew, _I knew_ , that she would be torn between her emotions, her trusts, her family, and there was something else in my gut, something that was ripped because I don’t think that I was most important right now, _he_ was, and that sickened me and scared me and left me feeling so, so alone.

But she had to listen to me, didn’t she?

She had to put her trust in _me,_ in her brother, in my theory, in my mind.

She couldn’t put her trust in him, with his lies and deceptions and false stories and

_Did he even love you?_

and his created personality. Her trust in his invention, in his character- would it be stronger than her trust in me, in my mind, in my character?

_yes, yes it will, she loves him and he loves her and you’re nothing to either of them_

No. She’d choose to push the button.

She _had_ to.

The room, the world, my world was swirling around us, and she was close to the portal, too close, too much was happening and too many emotions were bubbling up inside of me-

“Grunkle Stan,” she said, and I froze, my heart froze, he froze, and I knew then more desolation than I had ever known before, because I knew that she was going to trust him-

“I trust you,” she said, her voice strong over the sudden silence, over the roaring wave of loss and betrayal and _logic_ that I knew was going through her mind.

After all, how could he betray her?

_~~Grunkle Stan~~ that man is loyal to her_

_maybe it’s okay_

_no no no it’s not she didn’t listen to you_

_she’s just like mom and dad and all the others she_ won’t listen

And I saw her float up, and something slammed into my stomach, hard, so hard, the wind knocked out of me; if he was lying, if she was wrong, then she would die, then she could be killed-

She wafted upwards, her arms up, hair flowing, in front of the portal

_look, a shooting star,_

and I screamed because I was scared, scared and hurt and lonely and _my sister is going to die!_ and I didn’t want to die, either, and I didn’t want to feel any pain and I knew that the universe ripping apart would _hurt_ and so I screamed and I shouted whatever I could to get her to go _back to the button_ to _keep her alive_ to keep myself _alive_ , please, please, Mabel, push the button-

And then the world lit up, Mabel glowing brighter and brighter and I shoved myself off the wall, fury ripping through me at how slow I moved, frustration making me sick, _reach her at least, reach her reach her reach her_

and everything goes white, so bright, and then, suddenly, black, but only for a moment, a split second of my life before I felt my legs give out and my chest hit something hard and my head smash into something harder

and I opened my eyes

and we were okay

she was okay

_I wasn’t okay_

**Author's Note:**

> Just what I thought went through Dipper's mind while Mabel was deciding whether or not to close the portal.


End file.
